


Growin' Up

by shewhospeakswiththunder



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Detention, F/M, High School Fights, Prom, Super Senior!Ben, Swearing, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Valedictorian!Rey, references to teen sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18895018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewhospeakswiththunder/pseuds/shewhospeakswiththunder
Summary: Ben Solo was supposed to only be ruining his own life with his bad decisions.Rey Niima was just trying to pay attention in class.Both get stuck in detention.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Please enjoy the high school AU that just forcefully latched itself onto my brain with a grip like a vice and wouldn't let go until I wrote the entire dang thing. Is that what they call inspiration? (*laughs tiredly*)

  


The classroom was a fucking oven, far hotter than it had any right to be mid-September. A trickle of sweat slid uncomfortably down Ben’s lower back. He was going to lose his ever-loving mind.

Mr. Ackbar was in the middle of a sentence about the bicameral structure of something or other when Ben abruptly stood up and began to pace the back of the room in agitation. He was causing a scene, but Ackbar was all-too-familiar with Ben’s penchant for disruptive shenanigans in class, and merely ignored him with barely the bat of an eye.

Which was perfectly _fine_ with Ben.

This class was stupid. High school was stupid. This literal hellhole was the last period of the day, and Ben wasn’t sure he was going to make it out with his sanity intact.

The abrasive scraping of a chair against the cheap linoleum floor snagged Ben’s attention just before a loud _thud_ rang out, stopping Ben in his tracks and giving the entire classroom over to a tense hush.

Rey Niima, probable valedictorian and all-around perfect princess, had just slammed her hand down on her desk, and was now standing and glaring at Ben with all the righteous fury of an overheated girl in an unacceptable situation.

“Sit down! _Some_ of us are trying to learn here, you jerk!” She punctuated her outburst with a loud growl of frustration.

All those present were silently aghast, while Mr. Ackbar’s overly-large eyes grew impossibly wider as his mouth gaped in surprise. But no one was more shocked than Ben Solo.

His legs suddenly seemed unable to support his weight and he dropped heavily back into his seat in absolute astonishment, unable to tear his eyes away from the girl’s fiery stare.

As color started to rise into her cheeks, Rey sat herself down quietly and resumed her previous position. Her pencil was poised to continue jotting down notes as if nothing had happened, as though the fabric of reality had not just shifted slightly for all those present to witness it.

“Rey,” Mr. Ackbar croaked, in utter bewilderment. “You have detention.” It was almost a question, asking the universe how this calamity could have occurred.

“What?!” Rey reacted shrilly.

“I-I’m sorry. I can’t excuse that kind of behavior,” he responded.

The classroom _erupted_. The impossibility of what had just occurred was incendiary, and Mr. Ackbar had his work cut out for him to bring the other students to heel while Rey and Ben remained frozen in place.

Once things had calmed slightly, Ben began, “What about—”

“What do _you_ think, Solo?” Mr. Ackbar shot at him, pinching the bridge of his nose in what looked like a silent prayer for patience. “You’ll be joining her. Both of you see me after class.”

Ben had trouble focusing on the lesson for the remainder of the period, which wasn’t unusual for him, but the fact that he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Rey’s stiff shoulders in the front row was a new experience for him.

Rey was a nice girl, pretty and smart, and Ben recognized her from last year, when she had been a junior running for class president. Apart from that, he knew relatively little about her.

Now, she looked like her soul had just fucking exited her body. Rey Niima didn’t get _detention_.

When the last bell finally rang and the rest of the class had stampeded out the door in a flurry of slung backpacks and shouts down the hallway, Ben lingered just a moment in his seat while Rey and Mr. Ackbar spoke.

A nasty twinge of guilt twisted in his gut and, not for the first time, Ben begrudgingly acknowledged that he was now dealing with the consequences of his poorly thought-out actions _once again_. He shook his head to clear the realization, disliking just how much it sounded like Uncle Luke.

“Detention on Tuesday, Ben,” Mr. Ackbar told him gruffly as Rey sped out.

Ben only nodded and rushed out after her, determined to apologize.

She hadn’t gone far, and was now standing in the empty hallway, her shoulders shaking.

“Hey, Rey,” Ben said gently as he approached.

She rounded on him, eyes bright with tears.

“ _Don’t talk to me_ ,” she spat, every ounce of her disgust and anger flying straight at him, hitting him like a physical blow.

Ben was not a person to be trifled with. He was a bad, no-account kid and he knew it but, in that moment, he quailed at her vitriol, shut his stupid mouth and let her go without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by moi. Don't make fun, I had a great time drawing it, and my husband was impressed 😉


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fateful detention day.

Tuesday arrived with little pomp, and it wasn’t long before Ben found himself in a certain room after school, a place in which he had become something of a permanent fixture.

Mr. Ackbar had shown pity when he asked Rey to pick the day to serve her sentence, aware that she actually _was_ a stellar student with a packed schedule. Monday was debate team, Wednesday Key Club, and she had a jazz band concert on Thursday, Ben recalled from the conversation with uncommon accuracy.

Rey was already sitting in the front row when Ben arrived, an over-achiever even in fucking _detention_ , and he felt a brief flash of annoyance before guilt once again took its place. He still felt pretty shitty about his role in all this—he was perfectly allowed to screw up his own life, but it wasn’t supposed to spill over into other people’s—and he still wanted to apologize to her.

For a while, he just watched her from his designated seat in the back corner of the room. It had been his personal spot for five years now. Yes, five—he had been royally screwed over by the school and forced to repeat senior year. So, there he was, nineteen-going-on-twenty and still in high school, ruining other students’ days and feeling bad about it.

Ben mostly just sat minding his own business in detentions. No one messed with him—he had established his reputation for pugnacity years ago, and there were few who desired to test him.

But, that day, he had an object of fascinating study.

With increasing agitation, Rey began to check every pocket in her backpack, searching the ground around her desk, patting her jacket down, rechecking the backpack pockets. It looked as though she was using the last of her stamina to forestall a mini panic attack.

Ben assumed she had lost her writing implement.

Casually glancing around, he _happened_ to find a spare pencil lying conveniently on the ground next to his left foot. He picked it up, took it to the sharpener by the classroom door and made his way over to Rey, holding the pencil out to her like a proverbial olive branch.

“Get back in your seat, Solo. This is detention, not social hour,” the supervising teacher barked at him, levying a no-nonsense glare at Ben over his bifocals.

“She dropped something, just giving it back,” Ben replied calmly. This earned him one last suspicious glance before the teacher dropped his attention back to the battered novel in his hands.

Venom was dancing at the tip of Rey’s tongue, and Ben was positive she was going to unleash it at him, but whatever internal battle she was waging with herself was won out by her practical sensibilities.

She grabbed it out of his hand roughly and muttered a low, “Thanks.”

When detention was done, she stalked over to Ben and slammed the pencil back on his desk, where he had been resting his chin on his forearms moments before, then strode away without another word.

He chuckled, unable to help himself. _What a spitfire_.

He liked her.

 

* * *

 

 For the remainder of the week, Ben kept a sharp eye out for Rey, biding his time for the right opportunity to speak to her again. He didn’t have to wait long.

Ben spotted her in the library during lunch, munching her way through a PB&J sandwich, sitting alone with her notebooks splayed out on the table. It couldn’t have been a more ideal scenario.

Specifically for this purpose, Ben had taken to keeping a useful tool in his pocket: a freshly sharpened, brand-new, yellow Ticonderoga pencil, topped by a pristinely pink eraser. It had taken him a good twenty minutes of digging around his house to find one, but everything was now working out to plan.

Approaching her quietly, he made it to her side and held the pencil out to her, catching her attention immediately. Naturally, she then pretended to ignore him but, unwilling to let her off the hook that easily, he kept his second peace offering outstretched.

Rolling her eyes, she finally snipped, “I’ve got my own today, thanks.”

He shrugged. “Just in case.”

She went back to her notes, but her eyes weren’t tracking the words on the page, just staring blankly at the paper and waiting for him to be gone.

Ben set the pencil down next to her and left, but took up a vantage point behind the nearest book stack.

Muscle by muscle, her shoulders began to relax, and he couldn’t help but think to himself, _Wow, I really make her tense, don’t I?_

When she had recovered, she picked up the pencil and smiled softly at it before lifting it to her nose and _smelling_ it, a good long drag that had Ben struggling not to laugh out loud. Now that he thought about it, though, newly sharpened pencils did have a pleasantly pungent smell to them.

She was something else.

 

* * *

 

 The next day, Ben positioned himself directly across from Rey’s seat in the library, banking on the assumption that she was a creature of habit and studied there every day during lunch. He wasn’t wrong.

Her reaction was priceless, and Ben could almost hear her thoughts screaming at him from where she stood: _What the hell is he doing here?!_

Sniffing primly before sitting down, she set about her work, pulling out notebooks and her brown lunch bag.

“Hey, did you do the reading assignment for Government?” Ben asked, his voice rumbling in the quiet of the library.

“Obviously,” she whispered back. “It’s due today.”

“Let me see.”

“My homework?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“To compare answers,” Ben said, off-handed.

“You mean, to _cheat_.”

“No, to _compare answers_.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Ben asked, feigning innocence.

“Because cheating is _wrong_ ,” she said waspishly, clearly growing tired of the interruption of her studies.

“It’s not like it actually matters.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, _Ben_ , not all of us are—” She clamped her mouth shut, biting off the rest of the thought. “Whatever. I have work to do.”

“You actually give a shit.” He knew Rey cared about school, but it had been a long time since he had personally encountered such dedication. He didn’t agree with the waste of energy, but he was impressed.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Don’t you have any friends to eat lunch with?”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. “ _Yes_. I just need to use this time productively. I’m pretty busy with extracurriculars this time of year.”

“Okay, I’ll be quiet,” Ben relented. “Don’t mind me, just doing very important work over here.”

She was about to counter when Ben held his finger to his mouth, shushing her with a pointed look. He mouthed to her, _important work_.

Ben could tell she was fighting against a smile.

 

* * *

 

 Ben met Rey in the library every day. An easier back and forth sprang up between them, and that half hour quickly became the most highly anticipated part of the school day.

Rey warmed up to him with only the smallest of prodding on his part, extending her friendship to him surprisingly freely and generously. So much so, it took him aback. Her earlier frostiness had melted away so swiftly to genuine smiles and shared jokes that Ben wondered how this could possibly be the same girl who had looked on him with such blatant contempt only a week before.

She was funny, and whip smart. Her laugh was sweet, and the way she scrunched up her nose when she did was the cutest damn thing Ben had ever seen.

He even changed his seat in Government, their shared class, to the one directly behind her, constantly passing her silly notes and making her blush.

He was falling for her. Hard.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben at home.  
> He was not an easy child to rear.

It had been a shitty Sunday night.

Ben, with his friend Arm Hux, had gone to their mutual friend’s house, a friend whose parents were notorious drunks and well-known for allowing underage kids to drink there.

They had all gotten piss drunk and high as kites, and summarily lost track of time.

Ben’s mother, on the other hand, _never_ lost track of time.

Arm had almost thrown up all over Ben’s new sneakers as they were walking back home, and Ben, whose gag reflex was embarrassingly fragile, _had_ puked all over his own shoes.

At the ungodly hour of three in the morning, Ben had stumbled into the house, his only thoughts of a hot shower and passing out on his bed.

Leia had other ideas.

“Where were you?”

Ben jumped, startled. “You just scared the _shit_ outta me,” he slurred.

“Ben,” she said warningly. “Where. Were. You.”

“ _Out_ ,” he said, making his way to the stairs.

“You stink of cigarettes,” Leia frowned, moving to cut him off and plucking the cigarette carton out of the breast pocket of his jacket.

“They’re lites,” he mumbled, his muddled brain thinking that that somehow made it better. “What do you want?”

“You can’t be doing this.”

“Doing what, Mom?” Ben fired back, raising his voice. “Doing _what?_ Being like Dad?”

The slap that stung his face shocked him, jolting him to alertness. His mother had never hit him before.

Shame clawed at his heart, but he didn’t want anything to do with that ugly feeling. Instead, he let it flare into hot, uncontrollable anger. But Ben had done enough emotional damage that night, and he knew he had to get out of the house before some inanimate object became the next physical target. Storming out and stomping around the neighborhood for the next half hour in the crisp night air of late autumn, his fingers and toes grew numb from the cold.

When he returned to the house, Leia had retreated to her bedroom, but Ben could hear her crying through the wall. It hurt him far more than the slap had.

One memory ran on a loop through his mind, preventing him from the release of sleep:

His father, before he left them, shaking his head and saying mournfully, _Don’t do what I do, kid. Don’t do what I do._

Ben slept through his alarm the next morning.

Exhausted, hungover, and fucking _ravenous_ , he decided to take a mental health day. Maybe his truancy would earn him another detention, or even a suspension, but he just didn’t care.

The only thing that bothered him was that he wouldn’t get to see Rey that day.

They had exchanged numbers, but Ben had already learned that Rey steadfastly refused to use her phone during school hours and, when she wasn’t in class, she was _always_ busy doing something. Key Club, debate team, study groups. Even on the weekends she picked up shifts at a busy local diner.

As if that wasn’t enough, she constantly kept her phone on _silent_. It was enough to drive him batshit when he knew she wouldn’t get back to him for hours, but what could he do about it?

So he just sat around and missed her.

Sitting though the following day’s classes was just as torturous.

Finally, _finally_ , the lunch bell rang, and Ben practically ran to the library. Spotting Rey in her usual seat, he snuck up behind her and plopped into the chair next to her, eliciting a flinch and a yelp out of her. He stretched his arm across her shoulder casually.

“Miss me?”

Rey scoffed at him rudely and roughly shrugged him off.

Something was wrong. He could sense it.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she lied.

“No, you’re not. What’s wrong?”

“ _Nothing_ , Ben. Just leave me alone.”

He backed away from her a bit, taking the situation in fully. The tense set of her shoulders, the furrowed brows. She was mad at him! But why?

It dawned on him, and he grinned.

“You _did_ miss me. And you’re mad because you don’t want to admit it.”

Abruptly backing her chair up, she started shoving her notebooks back into her bag and Ben quickly realized his teasing hadn’t gone over well.

“Wait!” he whispered urgently, his hand shooting out and lightly grabbing her wrist to stop her. There were enough people angry with him—he couldn’t stand it if she was, too.

Rey froze, eyes locked on his hand where it encircled her wrist. Ben felt her pulse skyrocket, and searched her face curiously.

Breaking the moment, Rey wrenched her wrist away, but stayed where she was.

“You study,” Ben said, getting up and moving back to his customary seat opposite the table. “I won’t bother you anymore today, okay? I promise.”

Silently, Rey resumed her own seat. It was quiet between the two of them for the remainder of the period, but not an unfriendly quiet, and Ben was relieved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got serious nostalgia writing this chapter.

“So, are you going with anyone to prom?”

Ben considered Rey thoughtfully, recognizing her tone for what it was: forced casualness. He was willing to bet money that she had been thinking about this specific question for some time.

It hurt him to say it, and the last thing in the world that Ben wanted was to disappoint Rey, but he owed it to her to be honest.

“I’m not sure if I can go.”

Her crestfallen face spoke volumes.

“Super senior. Right…I forgot.”

“I tell you what, I’ll ask. Can’t hurt, right?”

She perked up a little at that, but Ben wasn’t feeling any better.

He would finally have to go and see his Uncle.

 

* * *

 

 Uncle Luke was the head principal of their high school, and no more, no less the _one_ person who had totally fucked up Ben’s life. It had ultimately been Luke’s decision as to whether or not he could graduate, and if it hadn’t been for that final damning ‘D’ in Economics, it wouldn’t have been an issue.

Luke had pulled Ben into his office on that fateful day and lectured him ad infinitem on ‘personal accountability’ and ‘taking responsibility for consequences,’ on ‘seeing this not as a setback but as an opportunity to get his head on straight,’ but Ben hadn’t listened. As soon as the words, “We’ve decided that it’ll be in your best interest to have you repeat senior year” had left Uncle Luke’s mouth, Ben had been too dazed to focus.

The plan had always been for him to graduate and join the Marines. Get the hell out of that crummy town and worry about the rest of his life afterward. He had never cared much about his grades, it wasn’t like they mattered in the real world, and he was smart anyway. What he needed or wanted to learn, he always just taught himself. The rest of the garbage they touted in school could stay right where it was, between the old plaster walls of that shithole of a building.

The intense discomfort that coiled in Ben’s belly tightened nauseatingly as he stepped once again into the front office after classes. The receptionist looked up with a smile, but her face fell when she recognized him—he hadn’t left a good impression. Lots of yelling. He might have thrown something. He couldn’t really remember, it had all been a bit hazy.

“Dr. Skywalker is on an important phone call right now,” she informed him icily.

“I’ll wait.”

She scowled at him, but didn’t say anything as he sat in one of the chairs that lined the far wall, the ones usually reserved for bad kids who’d been summoned there for misconduct. It was a familiar seat.

Forty minutes later, Luke emerged from his closed door, his brows rising in surprise to see his nephew there without a summons.

“Ben. Do you need something?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Come in.”

Ben hated that stupid office. It was too clean, too neat, too angular, and it drove him crazy when his uncle fiddled with the nonsense on his desk in order to place _everything_ at perfect right angles to everything else.

He took a calming breath, dropping to sit across the desk from Luke, and struggled to restrain his knee from jumping impatiently. He was there for Rey, he had to remember that.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Luke steepled his fingers, elbows on the desk.

_For Rey._

“I wanted to know if I can go to prom.”

“ _What?_ ” Luke’s eyes widened.

“You heard what I said,” he muttered sulkily.

“Since when do you care about prom? Or any school function for that matter?”

Ben detested when Uncle Luke got snarky with him, but prevented himself from responding in kind.

“A friend wanted to know if I could go. I told her I would talk to you about it.”

“On what planet do you think you would be permitted to go? Your behavior this year has been _deplorable_ , Ben. Frankly, I’m astonished you even have the gall to ask. The answer is _no_.”

Ben felt his fists clench, but he closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. He didn’t want to beg, but it looked like he had no other option.

“Uncle Luke, please. It would mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Luke eyed him suspiciously. “Is that what this is about? A girl?”

A hot blush rioted up Ben’s neck all the way to his ears. With Luke, honesty was the best policy. There was even a poster that said so next to the window on the far wall.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask who?”

Forcing himself to ungrit his teeth, Ben choked out, “Rey Niima.”

Luke’s eyes almost popped out of his head. “Rey Niima asked _you_ to prom?”

“Not in so many words, but I think she wants me to ask her,” he explained tersely.

“Ben. She’s a good girl.”

“I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do. She’s going to an Ivy League school when she graduates. That girl is going to make waves in this world.”

An electric shock shot through Ben as he suddenly understood what his uncle was saying. Rey was good, and Ben was not. Rey had a future, and Ben had better not fuck it up.

“I know I’m not good enough for her,” Ben growled, unable to meet his uncle’s eyes. “But I can try to be if she’ll let me.”

When he finally glanced back up, he saw his uncle’s demeanor soften.

“I’m not here to be your enemy. None of us are.” He searched for his next words. “Listen,” he finally began again. “If you can manage to stay out of detention, and any other trouble between now and then, you can go.”

“Thank you,” Ben breathed, relief and genuine gratitude flooding through him.

“I mean it, Ben, no trouble at all. I’m talking clean slate. Got it?”

Ben nodded and got up to leave, but before he reached the door, his uncle stopped him.

“You need to remember what I said. Rey is a good girl. Don’t hurt her.”

“I won’t.”

 

* * *

 

As soon as he cleared the office doorway, Ben whipped out his phone. In a manner most unlike Rey, she texted him back almost immediately.

**Today** 4:15 PM  
Hey, got the ok, I can go  
As long as I don't cause any more trouble lol  
Awesome!😁  
Would you like to go to prom with me?

His heart was pounding.

**Today** 4:17 PM  
I would love to 😊  
Good  
Bc no more detention dates for us from here on out  
I'm on the straight and narrow  
Haha deal

Heaven-sent relief swept over him, pure and sweet. He began to imagine it, plan it all out. He would pick her up for pictures, and she would flash him one of those smiles full of sunshine when she saw him all dressed up. Ben didn’t like to dance, but if it meant holding Rey close, nothing on God’s green earth would be able to stop him from taking her hand and pulling her out to the dance floor. There, in the darkness, with the music all around, he would tuck her in close to him, rest his hands on her hips and feel her moving. He’d kiss her cheek, and she would blush, but he’d go in for the real thing when he dropped her off at home.

  
Ben wasn’t a virgin, but he was positive Rey was and, although his mind went straight to the idea of getting laid on prom night, he immediately decided that wasn’t the end game. Rey was special, and he wasn’t going to rush her.

  
But he would get condoms just in case. No harm, no foul.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, teenage Ben. 
> 
> (*sigh*)

Ben did well. He did so well that even some of his teachers remarked on his exemplary behavior. _And hell, that’s all it took?_ Ben thought. _Just don’t act like an asshole? How about that._

Rey was ecstatic, chattering about how she would pick up a few extra shifts at the diner to cover the cost of the ticket and her dress, not to mention the hair-dresser. Ben offered to pay for her— he had plenty of money, having come from a family of means, but she had frowned and promptly informed him that she was perfectly capable of affording it herself, and that she had never been afraid of hard work.

Ben knew that about her already.

The next thing he knew, it was the week of the big night, and he was giddy with excitement. His suit had been tailored, with a deep purple tie to match Rey’s dress, and they had confirmed the times and places to meet with all of her friends for pictures. It was going to be an amazing night.

But it was never to be.

Making his way down the hall to his next class, Ben had the misfortune to witness the school’s resident knucklehead push some smaller kid roughly into the lockers. And Ben, who was now a _good_ kid, couldn’t allow that sort of behavior to continue, so he stepped in.

“This isn’t any of your business, Solo,” the meathead spat at him. Ben didn’t even remember the guy’s name.

“Come on, just leave him alone.”

“I said, it’s none of your business. Get lost!” Now, it was Ben who got a solid shove.

“Knock it off!” Ben said, his voice louder now.

“What are you going to do about it?” Another forceful push, the points of the kid’s fingers bruising his chest.

Using his height to its full advantage and towering over him, Ben thrust his finger in the other kid’s face. “Fuck you, buddy. Fuck you!”

Meathead swung, but Ben leaned back to dodge the flying fist and instinctively returned with a strong uppercut to the kid’s stomach. It stunned him, probably knocked the wind out of him, but he didn’t take long to recover.

Other kids had started to gather around, murmuring and forming a circle enclosing the brawl. Meathead charged at Ben for a tackle, but Ben was bigger, and far from inexperienced. He slammed his knee into the kid’s already tender gut, and he dropped to his knees, reeling.

“Don’t fuck with me,” Ben sneered, the adrenaline of the fight still coursing rampant through him.

Until he saw Uncle Luke.

And then the full weight of what he had done crashed down, his heart plummeting somewhere deep in his gut. In the space of seconds, Ben had ruined his chances at prom. With Rey.

Ben and Meathead both got suspended for three days. It never mattered who threw the first punch—the school’s zero tolerance policy on fighting wasn’t a foreign concept to Ben at this point.

Ben’s desperate plea to Luke hadn’t gone over well.

“Uncle Luke, I fucked up. I know I did, it’s my fault, and I take full responsibility, but please, _please_ let me go—!”

Luke had given a heavy sigh. “We had a deal. You didn’t hold up your end of the bargain.”

“She’s already paid for everything! I can’t do this to her, she worked so hard for it!”

“I’m sorry, Ben. But it’s still a no.”

And Ben had to tell her.

He was _dying_. Those three days stuck at home were hellish, time passing so slowly that Ben could swear the space-time continuum was just messing with him. Every agonizing minute of restless boredom was a minute that he couldn’t talk to Rey, explain to her what happened and why. Because she _never_ answered her damn phone!

On the second day, Ben started to plan. If he and Rey couldn’t have prom itself together, they sure as hell could have _after_ prom together. He was going to throw the biggest after-prom party this town had ever seen.

Texts were sent, kegs were purchased. Hux had connections in the city, and was able to procure copious amounts of weed. Speakers were borrowed, playlists manicured. All for Rey.

Obviously, she was mad. The only text she had bothered to respond to was the one containing the actual invitation to Ben’s after-party, and that was only with a perfunctory “K”. But she wouldn’t stay mad when she showed up to the party, and he’d had a chance to explain it all.

Ben allowed himself the luxury of his own imagination once more, the mood lighting and music all the same as before, but this time on his own turf. They would both be drinking and having a good time, dancing even closer and _way_ dirtier, sans chaperones. His heart skipped a beat as the scene played before his mind’s eye: her tight ass, rubbing up against him, a wild, uninhibited look in her eye, before he spirited her off to the privacy of his bedroom. He would help her out of her fancy dress, let her pretty hair down and touch her neck with his fingertips. She would be so soft, and his lips would follow his fingers to that sensitive spot underneath her jaw, and he would plant a kiss right there. Then, on the lips.

It was going to be perfect.

Ben was still suspended the day of prom, but that just gave him all the more time to prepare the house. He mused that perhaps the universe was rooting for him for once: his mother was out of town. Being the son of a state representative had its perks.

By 10:30 that night, people began to arrive. Some were already drunk, but that was fine, and shortly the beer was flowing, the music thumping, and the air smoky, the light machine’s bright beams catching the vaporous atmosphere and lending the party rave-like vibes.

Ben hovered by the door as he waited for Rey to show, probably with a posse of girlfriends, but they could be easily brushed off. He smoked a cigarette outside in the humid summer night air. Then had a beer. Took a few hits off of Hux, had another beer.

Still no Rey.

She never showed.

When midnight struck, Ben shoved down every ugly emotion threatening to choke off his airway and _partied_. He drank until he couldn’t see straight and smoked so much his lungs were on fire and he started to cough up gray shit.

His heart was withering inside him, but the hurt was intolerable so he drowned himself in booze until he entered that heady state of fuzzy numbness and fell asleep on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, the world spinning until it faded to nothing.

 

* * *

 

 Saturday, Ben nursed the shittiest hangover he’d ever known and attempted to clean his mother’s ruined house.

Sunday, his mother came back home. He suspected that she knew about the party, but Ben kept himself locked up in his room. He had cleaned up after himself—what more could she want from him?

Monday, Ben was allowed to reenter the general populace. It felt bizarre—how could something have changed inside him so fundamentally, while the rest of the world just… continued as normal?

In his fervor to reach the library at lunch, he might have incidentally bowled over several people, but he was desperate. She had to be there.

She wasn’t. He searched for her, in the adjoining computer lab, every nook and seldom-frequented corner of that godforsaken library, even resorting to calling her softly by name before the librarian caught him with her hawk-like stare.

His stomach was in knots, his hands shaking. What the fuck was wrong with him? And where was she?

Prior to meeting Rey, Ben’s habit had been to aimlessly roam the halls at lunchtime. All of his friends had graduated, so it wasn’t as if there was anyone else to eat with in the cafeteria, and he certainly wasn’t going to sit there like a fucking idiot all by himself.

He was once more haunting the hallways, a pathetic spectre of some kind of prom cast-out, when he spotted her out of the corner of his eye through the floor-to-ceiling windows lining the cafeteria, laughing heartily, along with several other girls, at some unheard joke.

Seeing Rey with people that were good for her, that made her happy, made him _ache_. Like his sternum had been ripped open and all his chest’s contents vacuumed out, leaving behind a heavy, thick nothingness that hurt worse than when all that half-broken shit was still inside there.

And then, he was mad.

If that’s all he was, a _bad_ kid, undeserving of even one person’s affection, then that’s what he would be.

Ben decked the next kid that even looked at him, coldcocking the guy right there in the hallway.

It was dumb thing to do on many levels, but the dumbest part of it all was that he had chosen one of the biggest dudes on the wrestling team to hit, and perhaps Ben had the advantage of height, but he didn’t have the brute force and finely-honed technique that years of training on the wrestling team gave a person.

He didn’t win.

His trachea was being crushed by the headlock this guy had effortlessly trapped him in, when he saw Rey, front and center, her eyes wide and horrified.

A nasty crack to the head. Stars.

Black.


	6. Chapter 6

The first sensory input his body processed was the ringing in his ears and, a minute later, the excruciating hammering inside his skull, cruelly compounded by the incessant tinnitus. Ben was dimly aware of having been dragged to the nurse’s office but, as his beaten body slowly resurfaced from its shock, he registered the cold reality around him more clearly.

Rey, Uncle Luke, and the school nurse, Ms. Holdo, were standing on the opposite side of the room, voices hushed in uncomfortable conversation. Rey hugged herself and looked close to tears. Ben’s chest gave an unpleasant squeeze.

Their words began to filter through the ringing.

“You should really think about your relationship with him, Rey. You have such a bright future ahead of you, and you really don’t want to let that kind of negativity into your life. I believe my nephew is a good person at heart, but he has… issues. I think you’ve seen that. You shouldn’t let some kid drag you down while he’s trying to figure himself out.” Luke laid a sympathetic hand on Rey’s shoulder.

Rey nodded mutely, biting her bottom lip, a nervous habit that immediately signaled to Ben that she was upset. He attempted to rise from the cot, to go to her, but the jackhammer going to town between his temples knocked him right back with a strangled moan as the sudden attempt to change position magnified the pain a thousandfold.

The three startled at the sound and Ms. Holdo rushed over, tutting and remonstrating.

“Think about what I said, okay?” Luke urged Rey. She nodded again, but her eyes were trained on Ben, still clutching his aching head and groaning.

Ben began to struggle to sit again, determined to get to Rey. His uncle was poisoning her against him, and it infuriated him that Luke’s hand still gently rested on her shoulder.

Ms. Holdo kept Ben pinned to the cot while stars popped into his field of vision again, forcing him to relent.

“Rey,” he called, sounding groggy.

Seeing the inevitability of the situation, Ms. Holdo backed up, allowing Rey to surge forward.

“Don’t let him get up,” she commanded Rey. “The paramedics are on the way. _You_ probably have a concussion,” she hissed at Ben before walking away, muttering under her breath. “…shouldn’t have been moved anyway, the EMTs are going to have a fit…”

That terrible burning fullness at the back of his throat warned Ben that he was about to cry. He hadn’t cried in years.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” he stammered, moving his hand to touch hers. She jerked it away, and it killed him.

Rey was openly crying, kneeling there next to the cot. He realized that he probably looked like shit—there was an impressive shiner coming on, obscuring the vision in his right eye, accompanying the sharp sting of his split lip and the itchy crustiness of dried blood on his chin.

“You’re such an idiot,” she told him plainly, and then she fled.

 

* * *

 

Rey was nothing if not resilient. She would fall right back into her finely-tuned habits of success, into her friend groups and various obligations to clubs and organizations. She would study and take her tests and get her college acceptance letters in the mail. Rey would be all right.

Ben didn’t know if he would be.

He shut his mouth and attended class. He resumed his seat in the back of the class in Government. He actually handed in homework on time, and managed to squeak out some passing grades.

He went to raves in the city with Hux and to raging house parties on the weekends. He drank until he puked and then drank more.

He ached for Rey, and none of it was right.

 

* * *

 

For a time, Ben tried to keep his distance, for her sake. More than likely she wanted nothing more to do with him, and he wanted to respect that but, as the end of the school year crept closer and closer, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

He needed to speak with her.

Summer was in full swing, and the fading evening light blanketed the parking lot as Ben waited outside the school’s back entrance.

It was Rey’s last band concert of the year and she always left to walk home using the back door. Ben also knew that Rey’s foster parents never had time to go to her concerts—six younger children required their immediate attention more than a self-sufficient young woman.

He knew this was the best way to catch her privately.

The door next to him opened loudly on its hinges and Rey walked out, still in the compulsory long black concert dress, her saxophone case and big black leather music folder in hand.

“Rey,” he called softly.

She gave a breathy shriek and whipped around but, once she saw it was him, speedily walked away.

“Rey, please!” He followed a few steps after her.

Whirling on him, she shouted, “Leave me alone, Ben!”

“Please, Rey, let me explain—” he started, but his words crashed to a halt when he saw the expression on her face. The big bruise around his eye was now a sickly yellow-purple and, as her gaze swept over his face, he realized afresh what a damn sight he must still look. She didn’t have to say a word.

Taking a deep breath, Rey stilled and waited for him to continue. He felt a rush of gratitude for her. She really was good.

“I let you down.”

“You think?” she snapped.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“Please let me make it up to you.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that, Ben? Do you know how hard I’ve had to work, for all of this?” she said, vaguely gesturing around her. He knew what she meant.

“Yes,” he said honestly, watching as tears began to slide down her cheeks.

“I took the dress back.”

Ben closed his eyes as a deep unhappiness weighed down on him.

Swiping angrily at her tears, Rey started to gasp through her sobs. It was unbearable.

Slowly, Ben closed the distance between them, reaching out and gently taking the saxophone case and music folder out of her hands and setting them on the asphalt. Gathering her into his arms and giving her plenty of opportunity to break free if she wanted, he fully expected resistance.

But to his surprise, she melted into him, sobbing even louder into his worn cotton t-shirt as she fisted her hands into the fabric. The wetness of her tears felt cool on his chest, and he held her tighter, bringing his cheek to the crown of her head.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured into her hair.

“I don’t like you. I don’t like you!” she said, her words thick with her tears.

He squeezed her even tighter. “I know.”

They stood like that for what felt like forever, her shoulders shaking in his arms, until the tears finally slowed and the sobs resolved into shaky breaths.

He moved her back a little, to see her blotchy red face, somehow still breathtakingly beautiful for it, and wiped away the remaining wetness with the pads of his thumbs. Holding her just like that, his big hands framing her face and all the emotions playing out on it, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, unable to stop himself.

Miraculously, she let it happen, and he could feel her almost give in to it, but then she abruptly stepped back, out of reach.

“Too soon.” She dragged a fist underneath her running nose.

Ben nodded.

“Let’s go for ice cream,” he suggested.

A moment’s consideration, and then a nod, before she stooped down for her saxophone and folder, walking ahead of him toward his car.

He’d spend every day making it up to her.


	7. Epilogue

The flight back from Camp Lejeune was relatively short, but Ben was exhausted. His eyes had the prickly feel of over-tiredness, and his long limbs felt rubbery after sitting for hours in the cramped cabin. 

Stepping out of the jet bridge into the airport proper, he remarked to himself that perhaps choosing to travel in his dress blues hadn’t been one of his best ideas, but the thought of his family seeing him return from basic looking sharp had strongly appealed to him at the time.

He collected his baggage but, before he even had a chance to scan the crowd for her, Rey rocketed bodily into his arms, her momentum knocking the breath out of him.

She was already crying, and so was he.

He was still making it up to her, but she was safe in his arms and everything was all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely something that couldn't stay in my brain. I kind of love high school AUs.
> 
> And happy endings 💕
> 
> A thousand thanks to my reliable and always lovely beta [@colliderofhadron](https://colliderofhadron.tumblr.com/)!  
> I hope you enjoyed!


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